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Member Since: 6/27/2009

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Wednesday, February 22, 2012

While xanga has, without a doubt, been wonderful, two years later I'm finding it difficult to take the platform seriously.

I'm not here, folks.  It's been a nice run.


Monday, November 02, 2009

i am alone

sometimes, i want to curl up
in you, stare at the ceiling,
and count the colors i find,
your heartbeat singing to me
what you cannot say
in words.

lightwaves dance around us
reminding me of the way you move
and perhaps i could reach out
and touch despite
intangibility

there is an emptiness
in the crooks of my arms
i cannot fathom nor
even begin to
comprehend

marble floors are not
as warm
as you.

(
with no arms to keep me close,
no lips with which to say

i love you.
)


Friday, October 16, 2009

a sonnet a day

jealousy

I want your heartbeat ringing in my ears
As you glide through the air, mocking my fears.
I want you beside me, secrets unfurled,
as I traverse the expanse of your world.

In footsteps and heartbeats, life reached a lull.
I remember you called her beautiful.
Nodding at me before walking away,
I wished for beauty perchance you would stay.

I want you everywhere the heart longs for.
In the rain, still in time while the waves roar.
In the smoothness of the cheek, wonderful.
I remember you called her beautiful.

I want your heartbeat ringing in my ears
as I traverse the expanse of your world.


Thursday, July 09, 2009

like sugar

Recently, I've been awfully inspired by Sarah Kay, the spoken word poet.  Youtube her.  It's worth it.

She is someone with many things to say.  We all are, actually, but then, she says things in a really simple, slice-of-life, gentle sort of way that makes you want to listen.  It isn't... incomprehensible garble that's meant to sound intelligent.  She's sincere, and she's relatable, and it's really all so beautiful, and she is what I call literature.

Because literature is usually those thick, thick novels with even thicker texts that just blur and spin in your head like anything.  It doesn't have to always be so complicated.  Sometimes, the magic of a few minutes far surpasses the poignance of one thousand pages.

Like life.

It's in the little moments.  The ones you can't hold on too tight to, or they slip through your fingers.

It's like magic.

The more you try to rationalize, the farther and farther away you get from the simple beauty that just is.

And sometimes, it hurts.  A lot of the times, it hurts.  And things seem all complicated and mixed up and inescapable.

But there's hope.  There's flow.  There's direction.

There's meaning.

Maybe the pain never really goes away, but that pain will show you what true happiness is.  That pain makes things real.

Or maybe I need some sleep.


Sunday, July 05, 2009

status quo

I told him everything, and there has been no change.  At all.

At least now I know I did everything I could.  I can walk away knowing it wasn't my fault.  I am surrounded by so many wonderful, enriching people.  Life is good; I can move on with it.  

Come on, I've been mourning for a month now.  It's time I got somewhere with my life.  With or without him.  My world is alive with potential; there's so much I have to do.

I am someone capable of bringing about change and beauty to a world that needs it.  We all are.  

I owe it to myself to find happiness.  I owe it to every person on the street.

I owe it to you. :D



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